Posts Tagged ‘words’

How much responsibility do you take for how people treat you? Who’s fault is it when others “do you wrong?”

Boy,that’s a lot to swallow. So let’s break it down. Assuming that we all were born and raised with the same background,same family history and same social and economical advantages,it would be also safe to assume that we all held the same regard when it comes to our ideas on how we treat others,the difference between right and wrong and where our moral and ethical loyalties lie.
If this were the case,each of us could accept without provocation that what happens to us is a direct result of something we’ve done. That we are the cause of what effects us. Right? We alone hold the key to how are lives turn out. That there is no such thing as luck. There is no such thing as fate. There is no such thing as Karma. But that we alone by what we say,do,how we act or react determines our outcome in life. Is that something you can live with? Can you or would you be willing to take personal responsibility for everything in your life?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that you are a responsible person. You are a hard-working,caring,compassionate individual that goes above and beyond for everyone. If everyone else would just do what they’re supposed to do,you could enjoy life stress free, be successful and embrace your full potential.
Well guess what? You assumed wrong!!

We are not all apples from the same tree. We haven’t all shared the same family history,advantages,disadvantages,blessings or tragedies. We are not all the same.   And with that firmly established it’s reasonable to say,we are “Created equal,differently.” Most people will argue that we cannot avoid what happens to us. How can we be responsible for unprovoked hostility, undeserving maleficence or downright mistreatment and abuse from others when there’s no way we would cause harm to ourselves? 

The truth of the matter is,in many ways we are the problem. Now before you start getting upset and start reasoning that bad things happen to good people all the time,that there are legitimate cases where people are victims and the innocent are wrongly convicted, I want you to think only about this: How many times have you heard an abuser say of their victim “They asked for it.”? or How many times have you heard someone say “It’s not my fault,I’m not to blame.”? This is an example of someone not taking personal responsibility for what they’ve done to someone else. In our world,everyday,the innocent,the victims, the one’s suffering are being held responsible for what happens to them by the ones that are doing the harm. The robber is blaming the person being robbed!

In the beginning I asked you “Who’s fault is it?” when others do you wrong. And I’ve played devil’s advocate by subtly insinuating that the root of all that’s evil comes from within you. Like it or not,different or the same,one thing remains constant: We,you and I,are responsible for maybe not everything that get’s thrown in our way but whether we allow it to stay. We choose the ideas that motivate the steps we take towards either walking into or away from what could hurt us. Define yourself by accepting that 99.9% of who you are today is a direct result of the choices you make 100% of the time.

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Who cares?

Is it not the greatest of all things to pursue your own happiness? Falling into the concept that you must sacrifice for others may give you the illusive feeling of martyrdom but the reality is you are only feeding the Ego. Feeding the Ego creates the illusion that your happy. But happiness can never be achieved by living through the image of self. Until you come to terms with what it takes to make you happy and you give up the idea that you have to suffer for it you will only continue to suffer because you keep telling yourself that your suffering is the “Right” thing to do,in turn feeding the Ego.

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Resolve or dissolve?

Which is it, that you do?

Do you put forth the effort to resolve relationships or do you quickly dissolve them?

Do you have real,honest,healthy relationships with your family and friends?

None of us do.

Because at some point down the line we each chose an “oh no she didn’t” moment and turned it into a full-blown “straw that  broke the camel’s back” mindset..



To bring it back together,to make it work,fix.

 Wow, this sounds like a lot of time and effort. Confrontation and fears of making others upset,or being faced with the truths of our relationships, can seem like a high price to pay for someone else’s mistakes. Maybe.

Can you own up to your feelings?

Are you choking on your words because of  their irreversibility?

Confidence is the fearlessness,the courage we have with our true selves. It’s that conversation that we have that we believe in and the ability to admit that we all make mistakes that only makes us stronger.

Choosing to resolve or dissolve happens to us every day. For some it’s a decision that happened in a flash and for others it happen over years. Regardless, it shouldn’t hold you back.

One of life’s standard of measure.

Who’s the bigger person?

Who can carry it through?

Who uses openness to resolve instead of dissolving to save face?

Which do you do?

Where is the disillusion at?

Conquer whatever keeps you from being you only better at it.



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