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Posts Tagged ‘Health’


Tired of Being Alone

Tired of Being Alone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my book “The hardest part is letting go.” One thing is constant. Life finds a way. Nothing can be more truthful. Throughout life we develop this idea of how things should be. The way we should look. The kind of house we should live in. The type of course our lives should follow. When will we accept that it just doesn’t work that way?

So many of us spend our days and nights sculpting ourselves to fit these ideas. Purposely chipping away at what makes us unique just so we won’t stand out. And not only do we do it to ourselves but we do it to others as well. We first develope an idea of how things are supposed to be. Chances are we got these ideas from our parents or from the church we grew up in or from being brought up in a situation we were desperate to get away from. Then we fight and we push and we pull, we do anything we can to get as far away from it as possible,and closer to where in life,we consider we ought to be.

You are exactly where you need to be. The pain and the suffering you are experiencing isn’t coming from the life you are living. It’s coming from the fact that you are resisting living it. You’re tired of struggling. You’re tired of fighting. You’re tired of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. But how much of that has been the result of your choices?

Is it fair to still be subjected to the everyday responsibilities of a bad choices you made 20 years ago? Is it fair that you have to struggle to survive because when an opportunity came your way you were unable or unwilling to take it? Yes! Yes,it is. It’s called a Life lesson. And the longer you keep defending yourself against it, Refusing to acknowledge it and play the victim to it the longer you will continue to live with it day after day after day.

Have you ever heard yourself telling your “life story” to someone you just met? “I was a teen mom,I was married, I was divorced,I am ill, I had a bad upbringing….” You repeat over and over the same story. Now yes,maybe all of that is true. And yes maybe you are the victim of someone else’s destructive behavior. But are you going to continue to live in that chapter of your life? Is this really how you want people to remember you?

Listen to how other people paint the picture of their life. Pay close attention to how they are emotionally attached to things that happen 10,20,30 years ago. Never will anyone come up to you and ever say ” Wow,your life story is so unique,so incredibly remarkable that the world and everyone in it has decided from now on you can do whatever you want,have whatever you want,be whatever you want–Go ahead,it’s on us!”

It’s just not going to happen.

Everyday no matter how ridiculous or small it may be try and do something you normally wouldn’t do. You know how you find it so irritating when people talk about how great it is to do things you would never do like run a marathon,adopt a pet,write a book,volunteer at a shelter. Instead of complaining ,try it.

UGh! you say,”people are so selfish they travel the world and leave their responsibilities behind.” “How can a mother not spend her every waking hour catering to her children every need?” Stop judging what other people do and give yourself the freedom to do those things too. Just because one person finds it ok to have “me time” every other week with friends doesn’t mean you can’t find something you like to do that makes you feel go. Give yourself a break and let yourself off the hook.

Are you struggling because you refuse to let people help you? Are you a victim because you can’t say “No?”

The thought for today is: Slow down. Let life happen to you. Let people be upset with you. Let mistakes happen. Don’t be in a hurry to do everything right away and perfect. People are not going to like that you are not jumping when they want you to. Others insecurities are going to cause them to blame you for what they can’t accomplish-so what! It doesn’t matter.

When you’ve found that taking the long way home instead of the short route you’ve taken for the past 10 years leads you to see a beautiful tree covered in the deep Red color of Fall,maybe that’s what you were supposed to carry out today. Let everything else go.

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English: Gate in Hedgerow near Page Fold Curio...

English: Gate in Hedgerow near Page Fold Curious metal gate set into a hedgerow field boundary, which appears to show no purpose in life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of the hardest things for us to stop and realize while accomplishing our goals is the fact that our biggest obstacle is ourselves. Without trusting ourselves,our intuition,our purpose,we leave room for doubt-a huge enemy in the world of success.

How easy it would be if we could see the future. If we already knew ahead of time that our sacrifices would add up to everything we ever dreamed of, Would we not sacrifice even harder? Even more? The problem is we don’t know what will happen. And because we don’t know what will happen, it paralyzes us.

For many,this is where it all stops. The desire is there. The romance is there. But as soon as doubt comes knocking the honeymoon is over. The inability to believe in ones own greatness catapulted with the pressure to preserve the Ego is a deadly combination. Like a runner in a race who keeps looking back,eventually you’ll get passed. And soon, you’re off track.

“Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope.”- Epictetus

Each of us has our own purpose in life. It is not up to anyone else to fulfill it but ourselves. Be aware that while you are debating whether or not to follow your dreams,someone else is hoping you’ll give up. While you are resting on the idea that you just don’t have what it takes to make life happen for yourself,someone else is agreeing with you. No one can rescue you from the dark when it comes from within.

Solution:

  • Create a support system. Support systems are best when they are made with the intention of being successful. Many rely on feedback from friends and family instead of those that have accomplished similar goals.The difference being, sometimes tough love is what you need instead of a shoulder to cry on.
  • Question your intentions. Why do you want what you want? What is the final endeavour? Are you pushing yourself and sacrificing just to prove a point? What’s the underlying cause of your pursuit? Making perfectly clear what your intentions are before giving of yourself wholly can save you years of anguish. Think about it.
  • Be ready to invest. Any successful person will tell you that they ultimately love what they do. Others will not do the work for you. Investing your time and energy will build your confidence,leaving less room for doubt and more space for commitment.
  • Take your time. Early I discussed how road bumps can cause some to stop dead in their tracks. When this happens see it as sign that you are paving new way. Accept that you may need to stop,rethink,improvise and then move forward. Quality takes patience.

They say “Good things come to those who wait.” But don’t wait to long.

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Once more.


How great must a suffering be before it becomes a lesion? What more can be done once the well of forgiveness has gone dry? When do I stop dying?

Shall I leave my number by the door? Should I wait just a little more? Can I give another day? Could I convince myself anymore?

Empty is the hand that keeps on giving but full is the heart.

And I am not bitter but sweet with relief. Dripping in the comfort of my worth.

As I feel no pain in the torment of forever. Resting in the garden of amor.

Treat me like no other but as the same. An equal to the measures of your vanity. Equal and yet unequivocal.

Go ahead and hate me.

I don’t care anymore.

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