Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

One of the worst thing a parent can do is compare themselves to another parent, especially a celebrity parent. We see it more than ever now, celebrities toting their children—some biological, some adopted—as their latest accessory. It can be very easy for us ‘everyday’ parents to find ourselves wondering  just how they manage to have the glamorous lifestyle and still have the kids in bed by nine.

blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/tag/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-and-kids/Let’s stop fooling ourselves. Many of these parents have way more help then we do. It’s unfair to compare ourselves with the rich and famous. They have round-the-clocknannies and the best that money can buy. Surely the pictures we see of them at the park strolling hand-in-hand with their well-behaved children are a far cry from the pictures we never see of them: frustrated, tearing their hair out with up-all-night babies and crazed teenagers. Even still, if we’re not peering into the lives of the onscreen June Cleavers we still may find ourselves a little curious as to how other parents handle the odds-and-ends of parenthood.

The truth:  It’s such a waste of time and effort to constantly try and follow the latest parenting trends. What works for one family doesn’t always work for another. Each family is different. Each child is different, and each parent—mom or dad—has a different idea of what’s best for their child. I remember feeling a little uncomfortable when other parents would talk about the awards their child was receiving at school when my child was struggling. I felt the heartache and self doubt when my methods of parenting wasn’t giving the results I was hoping for. I felt that pain. I felt as if I had let my child down and myself down. So I stopped and “got back to scratch” (i.e., made a fresh start). I developed these simple rules for “Getting Back to Scratch:”

  • Trust – Self doubt is a parent’s worst enemy. You have to trust in yourself and keep in mind you will make mistakes.
  • Keep an open mind – Holding on to generational parenting ideas can sometimes hinder a parent. Instilling culture is a must but it’s okay to accept some of today’s new modern approaches.
  • Forgive – When I say forgive I’m talking about forgiving YOURSELF. It’s easy to become overcritical of ourselves especially if we’re too busy comparing.
  • Stick to what works – Like I mentioned before, doing what works for your family is the essence ofgood parenting. Maybe you do homework right after school, maybe you do homework after everyone’s had dinner and settled down. Either way is right as long as it works for you.
  • Share – Don’t be a hero. Share the responsibility of parenting with trusted family or even friends. When you need a break, ask for one. Create a blog or web page where you can share ideas with other parents around the world, explore your similarities and just vent if you have to.
  • Divide and Conquer – If the problem is the kids won’t listen, the rooms aren’t getting clean, homework’s not getting done, etc., pick one thing and focus on that first. Then move on to the next issue.

There’s nothing glamorous about being up all night changing diapers and telling a teen twenty times to clean their room. But there is something to be said about a parent who listens to his/her family’s needs and creates a custom template for raising her/his child. In fact, it makes for a fabulous parent!

View original post @http://lenaweegreatstart.org/blog/2012/09/12/how-do-you-measure-up/

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Good Morning Fall.
This morning I was reminded that Fall is very close by. A small rust colored leaf peeked through this summer’s heat beaten planks searching for it’s place. It seemed to ask “Is it time?” I would answer, “Yes,my friend,it is about that time.”

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Paradise Lost.

Every once in awhile something unexpected comes along that changes your life in an instant. A miracle,a tragedy something out of the Blue. That happen to me. For a long time I held with me an idea that I believed to be true about myself based on someone else’s perspective. Does it make sense to see yourself one way even though you know it’s untrue? Many times if we are confused or weakened,notice I said weakened not weak,but many times in a vulnerable state we can allow others ideas and beliefs to over ride what we know to be truth. Again,that happened to me. I used to believe that someone elses disease was the result of my failures. Not because I really thought I was responsible but because others told me I was. Because other who could not accept that their part found me an easy target. In my heart I knew that I never was the one to blame yet something lay deep inside that always surfaced when my confidence was low. After many years of teeter tottering back and forth over just exactly how much of a bad situation was my fault I come to find out it wasn’t me at all. Myself and many others have had the truth revealed that I was not the cause. The strangest thing is that initially I thought I want to jump up and down and shout “See I told you.” I have been so overcome with relief that all I can think to do is breath. Let out that huge sigh of relief for all the years I’ve been holding my breath waiting for this day to come. Where are all the people that had so much to say now? Where are all the fingers that were pointed at me? Who amongst you tormentors will be the first to say “We were wrong?” The honesty of everything being is that the satisfaction I have gained,the strength that has carried me through all this time has not only been my life raft but has sailed me to higher seas. And the island in my life that I have come ashore is grand. And I leave behind only my footsteps in the sand.

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Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for letting me down. Thank you for breaking your promise that you will always be around. Thank you for lying and misleading me. Thank you for trying and trying to convince me that you were the one for me. I thank you from all the way down to the bottom of my heart.I thank you for reminding me that you played a part, a part in my never ending search for the one who was created to hold on to my heart ♥

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Who cares?

Is it not the greatest of all things to pursue your own happiness? Falling into the concept that you must sacrifice for others may give you the illusive feeling of martyrdom but the reality is you are only feeding the Ego. Feeding the Ego creates the illusion that your happy. But happiness can never be achieved by living through the image of self. Until you come to terms with what it takes to make you happy and you give up the idea that you have to suffer for it you will only continue to suffer because you keep telling yourself that your suffering is the “Right” thing to do,in turn feeding the Ego.

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I am stronger than my fears.~E.K.Espinoza

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Resolve or dissolve?

Which is it, that you do?

Do you put forth the effort to resolve relationships or do you quickly dissolve them?

Do you have real,honest,healthy relationships with your family and friends?

None of us do.

Because at some point down the line we each chose an “oh no she didn’t” moment and turned it into a full-blown “straw that  broke the camel’s back” mindset..



To bring it back together,to make it work,fix.

 Wow, this sounds like a lot of time and effort. Confrontation and fears of making others upset,or being faced with the truths of our relationships, can seem like a high price to pay for someone else’s mistakes. Maybe.

Can you own up to your feelings?

Are you choking on your words because of  their irreversibility?

Confidence is the fearlessness,the courage we have with our true selves. It’s that conversation that we have that we believe in and the ability to admit that we all make mistakes that only makes us stronger.

Choosing to resolve or dissolve happens to us every day. For some it’s a decision that happened in a flash and for others it happen over years. Regardless, it shouldn’t hold you back.

One of life’s standard of measure.

Who’s the bigger person?

Who can carry it through?

Who uses openness to resolve instead of dissolving to save face?

Which do you do?

Where is the disillusion at?

Conquer whatever keeps you from being you only better at it.



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