Archive for June, 2014

I’m starting to understand why it may not always work in my best interest to get what I want. I fell into the glamorous idea that “God grants us the desires of the heart.” and naturally assumed He wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle-Another glamorous idea. What I have come to find is that what I want isn’t always what’s best and in truth can be quite wrong for me.


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I spent most of yesterday morning thinking about what I was gonna post today and of course here it is and I’m at a loss for words. Ironic?

Maybe not so much. I’m 41 now had a couple of birthdays since 2012 and really feeling the change.  Spending a lot more time thinking about my past and my future and how to handle them both. What’s important, what’s not so important. Pretty much a slippery slope to a midlife crisis, just without all the panic.

I learned to let go of a lot of things. I learned I’m never gonna get the apologies or thank you’s I deserve and that I can move forward without them.

I learned I need to change the way I think and react towards people who are different from me and think different from the way do.

I’m pinpointing my weaknesses and my strengths which is about the same as letting go of those grandiose, out of reach ideas I have about my life and I how it should be.

And I’ve accepted that there are people who care about me, and some that never will.

All in all, I’m in a critical milestone, a pivotal point in my life that’s requiring more from me than any other time in my life. And I want to be 100% in touch with that. It’s a make it or break it shift. it’s that time when you decide, ok, for the past 40 years I’ve done things and thought a certain way and this is where it’s got me. Do I go all in and keep going or do I try new ideas and see where that takes me as scary as it may be?


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Well it’s been quite sometime since I’ve felt the urge to start writing again. The ever famous ” Once a writer, always a writer.” seems to be once again rendering true. A lot has happen since 2012 which was around the time of my last post. Maybe so much that writing had started to feel like a dream I used to have and not so much as a dream I was still pursuing. With the popularity of blogging I was really turned off by the melee of ambitious writers with empty content. Anyone and everyone with an opinion was writing and the stage was starting to look like an arena out of Gladiator. Ugh.

Enough of that. So with a bit of time away and a lot to say, I’ve decided to take a different approach than before and write more for myself with an intent to fulfill my personal legacy.

From this day forward I will make at least 1 daily post. This is for myself improvement. This is for my being to see and understand how my inner thoughts are affecting my life. So I can get a tighter grasp on were my mind is, what my goals are and where I’m going.

I’m writing to myself. For myself.

An audience of one.

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